11 Things to Guarantee You Get a Second Date

Published: 08th February 2010
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You have managed to get a date with the woman of your dreams. Now that you have the first, how do you assure the second? Here are eleven tips that should set you on the path to success:

1. He Who Fails to Plan, Plans to Fail

Plan your date with care. A woman will notice and be impressed that you are interested in her to that degree. If you have knowledge of your date's interests, make sure to incorporate that information into your plan for the evening.

2. No Dutch!

Dutch dates (splitting the bill) have no place in the romantic arena. You asked her on the date so have the courtesy to pay for everything entirely. Also, do not meet her at the date unless it is at her request. Be willing to pick her up at her residence and drop her off.

3. Dress for Success

You will undermine all of that planning if you show up at her door dressed and groomed like a slob. Look neat and clean. Smell good but not overdone. Go the extra mile during your grooming process.

4. Relax Have Fun

Take deep breaths if necessary. We all want that perfect first date but do not worry to the point of stress. You have invested the time and thought into planning you date. Have faith in that plan and be yourself.

5. Make the First Move

You asked her to accompany you on this date. Now you must continue that momentum. Women want to be pursued so men should be relatively assertive. Be the one to ask her to dance. Be the one to pursue the second encounter. If you get a yes, be the one to call her in the future. However, respect boundaries. Do not be overly aggressive.

6. Avoid Possessiveness

Do not be possessive of her. You might be surprised at the amount of men who fall into this trap. Do not come on to her too strong or be overly familiar. Do not order on her behalf.

7. Display Interest

Your date should not have to guess whether you are interested in her. Leave no doubt and show here that you are interested. Focus on her and listen at least as much as you speak. Make sure to compliment her intellectual qualities. When you ask for the second date, target an interest that she expressed to you at some point during the evening.

8. Cheery Conversation

Keep the conversation upbeat and avoid intimate touching. Avoid negative topics such as any serious difficulties you are experiencing in your life. Definitely do not bash your exes. What you perceive as humor will come across as crass.

9. Honesty is the Best Policy

Be polite but do not agree with everything she says. Women want to be challenged mentally as much as men do. In addition, avoid padding or sugar coating. Pass on a topic if it is too intimate. Those little white lies might not prevent a second date but they will come home to roost at some point, undermining all of your efforts.

10. Don't Pursue Intimacy

Men should not pursue a sexual encounter on the first date under any circumstances. Do not even expect it. Go into the date with the mindset of getting to know each other.

11. Do Call the Next Day

Call or email the next day to tell her and reinforce how much you enjoyed her company. Keep the conversation brief and light. Even a message a simple as "Had a great time last night!" can go a long way.

Don Hawk is a freelance writer, dating guru, and owner/operator of DatingWebsites.org, a site dedicated to the best dating advice and dating website reviews available online.

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